The Lventure

for every special occasion i can remember my mother doing my makeup. as i stood there quietly while she applied blush i felt completely beautiful. Not surprisingly those are the moments I remember from the special occasions, not the dances, not prom...just mom doing my makeup. as a mom I spend a lot of time reflecting on everything that my mother did, taught, shared. I realize as Joslin grows there will be many moments where all she wants to do is get out the door to her dance but I am resting in the fact in how I reflect on those moments now in my life. I love watching Joslin explore & learn, stepping out ready to face things without "mommie's hand" but it's a strange ache. I'm proud but at the same time...ugh can't even describe it 

-mom tears-

I think about how I'll feel watching Joslin marry. I'm sure it will be the same ache? The proud unspeakably JOY but a bit of sadness...

my mom is the one who I always call. on a hard night where Joslin is sick & I'm panicking, or the latest question, or just a bad bad day

i will always need my mom, Joslin will always need me, it never stops

just changes

these changes scare and excite me

i am learning to be okay with the transitions & being okay with it but WOW this is only year one, change one!!

So yesterday we curled up in bed and napped together & I admit all I did was watch her. Her tiny hands, the flutter of her eyes as she dreamed, the rose appearing on her cheeks...my baby is growing so fast.  

p.s.

Mom: you are the one who taught me everything that goes into being a "mom" & i'm still learning from you, in the moment you don't get a lot of recognition but your impact - i love you.

 i loved doing your hair as a preschooler pretend curling, i loved you doing my makeup for the 8th grade dance, for prom, for always stepping back a & saying how beautiful I was. For on my wedding day making sure I had my fairy tale every moment...and for the way you looked when you first walked into my hospital room & saw me holding my daughter. 

the love in your eyes IT SHINES

DSCF2377 from Meghan Ledford on Vimeo.