12.9.2011

Joslin Elaina: Once upon a Time...

6:30am December 9, 2011

Walking into the hospital for a scheduled induction is how I felt waiting in the vestibule to walk down the aisle on my wedding day. It’s something that can’t be pinned, because in that moment you are every emotion possible, nervous, overjoyed, excited but in all reality you have absolutely no idea what to expect or think. I remember on my wedding day freaking out that the wedding had started without me and they weren’t going to call me in time (silly I know) but in the same emotions I remember taking the elevator up with Kevin and it never crossing my mind what was really about to happen.

As they were hooking me up I remember them sort of hinting at what a long process this was going to be but in my mind I’d have my beautiful baby girl by lunch and home the next day. (Lets all chuckle together lol). I had made up my mind I was going to hold out on medicine as long as possible not to prove anything but simply because I wanted to feel everything. (Lets all chuckle together again lol) 

I wanted to be as present as possible. Since I was 40wks and 2days and I was starting pretty much at zero we all settled in and waited.

-Side Note-I would get comments about Mary Black compared to Regional and I have to say we could not have made a better choice. My Mary Black nurses pampered me, got to know me, cared for my baby and always put us first. I can’t say anything about Regional but I know I never once felt like a patient. So Go Mary Black Nurses YOU ROCK! Ha ha

4:10pm

My water broke and my mind flashed to movies I began mentally saying okay this is it, until I heard the doc say still at 2cm. I thought to myself are you kidding me???

 Between 4pm and 8pm I went to 5cm, at 5cm and what I thought to be no end in sight I requested an epidural. I remember begging to Kevin “please let me go home, I was done and couldn’t do it”, I remember how sad he looked knowing he couldn’t do anything. All I could see was pain. My wonderful epidural doc came in and I remember thinking everyone told me getting the epidural itself didn’t hurt which is true BUT the process is!!!! I sat through two big contractions bent over having him poke bone 3 times all while not moving! BOOM who is a woman!!! Lol. After he left I remember asking my nurse if my face is supposed to feel like it’s sliding off, she looked at then did a double take, apparently the right side of my face WAS falling off. Ha. I was pretty worried but honestly I was just laughing the entire time. SOOOO they took my sweet sweet medicine out let it wear off (so much for that…lol), so I go back to crying begging to be done and life goes on…..

About 30mins later another epidural man came in, my sweet sweet medicine man! This time everything went amazing!!!!

9:10pm

Nurse Lisa comes in for a routine check freaks out presses a lot of alarms, my heart stops. I look to the one place God gave me to find daily comfort, my husband's blue eyes. His face read calm but his eyes were just as strained as mine, he asked the nurse “what’s going on” and words I will never forget rang in my ears “we are having a baby, and we are having a baby NOW”. In a matter of milla seconds it felt like my room was flooded with nurses working at 100mph. I thought I was going to hyperventilate, Kevin was crying that emotion is something I can’t describe. It was like when my wedding director said “ok go to your man” and opened the doors to the church everyone turns and you take that first step that changes your life.

9:25pm

I heard my daughters scream, her very loud I’m here scream!!!! And I looked at my husband of 3years and he told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and loved me so much.

9:35pm

I don’t even know who handed her to me, it was all a blur except for those wide eyes staring back at me. It still stops my heart when I think about how God gives you the amazing gift after labor of having that beautiful miracle recognize your voice. Seeing the recognition in her eyes brought the most honest laugh from deep within….and yes after a few moments of staring at those beautiful eyes I quietly sang the song I’ve been singing to her since November, Silent Night.  As she looked at me and I sang the first verse everything faded, every light, sound, thought and I feel deeper in love with Joslin Elaina.