The Lventure

This evening I chased her and hubby around hopping like a over sized bunny repeating "ah-boo", probably a crime in at least 2countries and unusually scary. My reward, true laughter, the kind that end in

 squeals & gasp for breath. 

Those laughs were exactly what I needed, this week has been one where I defiantly earned my mom badge.

1. Joslin Elaina moved into her room... :( 

 2. Waking every hour to the smallest sound on the moniter

3. Guilt, where does mom guilt come from?!?!

4. Did I mention I've probably slept 3hrs since Tues!

5. No matter what I CAN NOT keep my house even close to clean

6. Shower, what's that??

7. CONSTANT worrying about something that doesn't need to be named

I know what your thinking about now "complain much?" but the reality of this mom's world is this week although hard has been beautiful in every form. Sometimes beauty comes in grays and dark blues.

Perfection is not what makes my life a fairy tale, it's taking each day to learn my husband & daughter..up's & downs. Whether it is 3months or 6years I try to use each day to learn them more.

In the midst of Joslin Elaina's laughter I caught sight of my husband, with the look. The special look I have only seen on our wedding day & return from war & Joslin Elaina's birth.

How is it that in the moment everything faded, lack of sleep, radio in the back ground, the sound of dinner cooking, everything wrong in the world disappeared and it was as simple as those laughs and looks.

I whispered to Joslin Elaina on the porch this evening "I wish I could wrap every love song lyric up and swaddle you with them". Each day I think "this is it" this has to be the peak of happiness one can feel but each day I find my breath being taken away at the most simple thing. 

I hope to remind myself in days like this week where I'm crying at a moment's notice, that "laugh" and that "look" signal's I might just be serving my family just fine.